Could someone help me?
I have to improve this text. I’ve already started but I think my English isn’t very good and I overlooked something.
It was a beautiful summer day in the middle of July and I wanted to clean my cupboard for the next week because I give it to my younger sister. When I saw how dirty and terrible it looked, I was shocked. But when I thought at my sister I started to clean the cupboard.
Suddenly I saw a map. As I looked more careful I found out that it was a map of the 16th century of Spain. First I thought that nobody could need it but my inner voice said to me: “It’s old, very old, maybe it’s valuable?” So I went to an antiques dealer and he said that it is worth more than 5.000 €. I was so terribly happy that I have found it and listened to my feeling inside.
In the end I sold it for 6.000 € to the antiques dealer and so I was a really lucky girl.
It was a beautiful summer day in the middle of July and I wanted to clean my cupboard for the next week because I PLANNED TO give it to my younger sister. When I saw how dirty and terrible it looked, I was shocked. But when I thought (at) ABOUT my sister I started to clean the cupboard.
Suddenly I saw a map. As I looked more (careful) CAREFULLY I found out that it was a map of (the) 16th century (of) Spain. First I thought that nobody (could need) WOULD WANT it but my inner voice said to me: “It’s old, very old, maybe it’s valuable?” So I went to an antiques dealer and he said that it is worth more than 5.000 €. I was so terribly happy that I (have) found it and listened to my feeling inside.
In the end I sold it for 6.000 € to the antiques dealer and so I was a really lucky girl.
Key to suggested changes:
Remove words in parentheses, (remove this)
Add words in capitals, ADD THIS
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